think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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