You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
