bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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