I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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