so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
