why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
