I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize