I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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