He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize