Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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