Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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