That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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