he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
