Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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