I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You smell like stripper and shame
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
