He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
