sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and she was petting her beer can
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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