That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
