I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
