I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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