She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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