Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
