yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
