we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
