Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
