Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
