idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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