just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
