My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
