entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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