I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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