we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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