At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
