Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize