You work out of a Hotel?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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