Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize