I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
