found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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