My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
