This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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