I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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