Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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