Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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