you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
