we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
