i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
