Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
