she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
