Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
