Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize