"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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