So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wish you could order shots online.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
