Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize