is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize