please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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