So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How does one acquire holy water?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
