Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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