there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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