I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
